RYL Forums - View Single Post

PoisonedApple · 01-07-2010, 06:16 PM

Hayley~
After thinking on it some more I think part of why I feel the loss I do is that I don't have many friends IRL. of the people that are still in the same area I am, I'll be down to one. And even with that one I rarely see him anymore as we both have spouses and kids and different schedules. I have a handful of other 'friends' by default. Those though are D's friends that hang out with me only if D and I go to see them together or if they come to our house. I try to be social when we're around them but these are people D's known all his life and I just get left out most of the time. Many a time I feel too crap to go try to make new friends and I get so anxious when I'm out being 'social' that it just feels like, "why bother?", ya know?
But I do know what K and I have going right now is an acquaintance not a friendship and even if we were around each other all the time for years more it would probably stay that way because I was really hurt last time. The way our 'friendship' is now I talk more to my friend in Colorado and my mum in Florida than I do to K when we're in the same town so nothing will be different but an inability to take the bus to her place.
And now I'm the one waffling on... I guess I'm trying to say that it seems like it will be a clean break in this friendship. I don't have the guilt of her things or our fight anymore it's merely history...

Quote:

Hmm, I hope this makes sense, I have a feeling I may have missed the point and gone off on a tangent! Thinking of you though. *huggles!*

Makes lots of sense and when it started to when it ended the point changed somewhere so now this is more like therapy for me... Lots of talking and lots of thinking. (Surprising regular therapy doesn't help me as I shut down but this kind seems to work just fine lol)
*huggles lots*

01-07-2010, 06:16 PM	#8
PoisonedApple Crazy Chic Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: 7th Layer of Hell	Hayley~ After thinking on it some more I think part of why I feel the loss I do is that I don't have many friends IRL. of the people that are still in the same area I am, I'll be down to one. And even with that one I rarely see him anymore as we both have spouses and kids and different schedules. I have a handful of other 'friends' by default. Those though are D's friends that hang out with me only if D and I go to see them together or if they come to our house. I try to be social when we're around them but these are people D's known all his life and I just get left out most of the time. Many a time I feel too crap to go try to make new friends and I get so anxious when I'm out being 'social' that it just feels like, "why bother?", ya know? But I do know what K and I have going right now is an acquaintance not a friendship and even if we were around each other all the time for years more it would probably stay that way because I was really hurt last time. The way our 'friendship' is now I talk more to my friend in Colorado and my mum in Florida than I do to K when we're in the same town so nothing will be different but an inability to take the bus to her place. And now I'm the one waffling on... I guess I'm trying to say that it seems like it will be a clean break in this friendship. I don't have the guilt of her things or our fight anymore it's merely history... Quote: Hmm, I hope this makes sense, I have a feeling I may have missed the point and gone off on a tangent! Thinking of you though. huggles! Makes lots of sense and when it started to when it ended the point changed somewhere so now this is more like therapy for me... Lots of talking and lots of thinking. (Surprising regular therapy doesn't help me as I shut down but this kind seems to work just fine lol) huggles lots
	I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister! "He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"