"Somedays i feel like my fingers are not my own. I watch them flex and move but I don't believe I control them. Sometimes my actionsare unknown, unpredictable the outcome. Somedays I go blind from the pain I hold within. The bottles shatter and I lock myself in until I feel the storm passes,sometimes these feelings are good, when it's bad...
I realize all that I know is all that i've seen with my eyes. All that people have told me, all that people wrote for me to learn, once I read it. Lyrics,quotes,life,love,happiness,anger,sadness. All learned habits. And what if i broke them, and lived somewhere beyond. These fingers are not mine yet they type what I am thinking, but where would they originate. A tiny cellular breakdown telling me what to see,and hear. Seperate to something new. Like memories languid and starnge they pass like the colors I remember but cannot see, how do you unlearn what you have learned? Where does the backwards brainwashing start? Life and death. Taught as everything but tell me would you wish to live when you realize everything is a lie? I've tried so hard to mend my soul, to stitch the rift within.But even my own hands abandon my hopes. All my life I have watched those I love break and fall. But nolonger could I hold it, I hope for you the best my sister, please move past easily. Do not worry for even though I am the past I live while your heart is still beating. If youfind me before this letter forgive me. I love you, Goodbye."
Domynick Alexander "
I set his letter by my feet and think of him, would he be proud of what i've become? Would he even care? I wonder what his last thought was. He smiled at least he was happy, happy to asy goodbye? He left a hole where my soul should be, took it with him to the grave. But still here this note I read. I realize we were one in the same, his thoughts mirrored my own, As did his pain. But nowi travel alone he let his consume him. Would my fatebe the same?
"I'm so sorry brother, my heart grows weak these days. I feel it begining todrain and i fight for life because that's what you wanted..that is what you wanted isn't it? How long would it take? I flounder to the surface with a memoryof your face, and when i look in the mirror I see you. Did you know i've become you. We would look identical were you still here. You're voice still echoes my name. Dear brother would you forgive me? If I no longer had the strength? These sugar pills taken with 151 sure should show me the way. And would I see you on the other side? Would your face still mirror my pain? I fear I hold more since you've been gone. I've added more chains to the links that bind me. How many would you share with me brother? Would you add more once I joined you in the grave?"
-Delirium Jayde"
Still yet more stories to be painted how many until the picture is complete, broken and frayed but finished at last?
"I will miss you two, forgive my departure.I don't think we should leave our brother alone? Do you. Delirium dear I know it will be hard for you, finding first Alexander then me too. Do not forgive me, hate me for all you've got for leaving you alone. Tell ashy i'm sorry i'm leaving her, she will know anyways. I wrote her a seperate letter, this one is foryou.
My only wish is that you put me, below our brother so I may follow him. His tomb large,and stone should serve as my headstone. Visit it when you have the time, otherwise see you again someday. You and Ashy are one of a kind. But two in the same. Never give up on her, keep her safe. Goodbye my sister."
-Veronique Jayde"
That's three in a row.
Only one more to go, but when...
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