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Too Shy · 29-06-2010, 02:48 AM

I am worrying a lot tonight and I don't know why.

My mum seems a lot better than she did when she first started the chemotherapy. The chemotherapy IV part has finished now, and on 8th July (I think) the radiotherapy starts, every day except weekends until 13th August. They've said it will make her feel ill because it's going through her stomach etc. But that's a good thing, because it means it's working.

I think my mum's finding it quite difficult at the moment, she's worried about what will happen if it doesn't work, about leaving us. I don't think it will happen - there was only a 1 in 4 chance of any response to the chemo, and that's worked. The radiotherapy will pull the tumour away from the blood vessel, and then surgery. My mum saw one of my best friends in town earlier, and she said she cried when she was talking to her. I don't know if that's what's making me worry more tonight, or just tiredness. I'm trying to be the strong one at the moment, the positive one. My mum says she wishes she had my optimism and faith in the doctors. I'm trying to be especially positive when I'm with my friends, I feel bad mentioning any of this because I don't want to make them feel worse. So it worries me in case they realise how worried my mum is, talk to me, and then I might cry, if that makes sense. I don't cry in front of my friends.

I don't know. I am positive about the radiotherapy working. If it works, they might be able to do the surgery in September. Potentially the cancer could be gone by September or October.

So why am I so scared and why do I feel like crying right now?

29-06-2010, 02:48 AM	#9
Too Shy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: West Sussex I am currently:	I am worrying a lot tonight and I don't know why. My mum seems a lot better than she did when she first started the chemotherapy. The chemotherapy IV part has finished now, and on 8th July (I think) the radiotherapy starts, every day except weekends until 13th August. They've said it will make her feel ill because it's going through her stomach etc. But that's a good thing, because it means it's working. I think my mum's finding it quite difficult at the moment, she's worried about what will happen if it doesn't work, about leaving us. I don't think it will happen - there was only a 1 in 4 chance of any response to the chemo, and that's worked. The radiotherapy will pull the tumour away from the blood vessel, and then surgery. My mum saw one of my best friends in town earlier, and she said she cried when she was talking to her. I don't know if that's what's making me worry more tonight, or just tiredness. I'm trying to be the strong one at the moment, the positive one. My mum says she wishes she had my optimism and faith in the doctors. I'm trying to be especially positive when I'm with my friends, I feel bad mentioning any of this because I don't want to make them feel worse. So it worries me in case they realise how worried my mum is, talk to me, and then I might cry, if that makes sense. I don't cry in front of my friends. I don't know. I am positive about the radiotherapy working. If it works, they might be able to do the surgery in September. Potentially the cancer could be gone by September or October. So why am I so scared and why do I feel like crying right now?