I've started to feel better since spring. But when I'm stressed, and I'm doing something, like the washing-up, and I see things I wonder if I can do something bad to myself without thinking about it. But then I think, I'd just leave myself with internal damage, not die, and people will resent me. And as I live alone, if I did die, I wouldn't want to be found decomposed. All of this means I don't really want to hurt myself, or die; I just want to know that people will always be there for me.
|