Thank-you.
I feel like I should be coping with it better. I'm coping ok, I'm kind of used to it all now, it's just since last week when we found out about the radiotherapy that I'm getting a bit down. For the last few weeks before that they'd been saying it was going really well, and they were considering skipping the rest of the chemotherapy and going straight to the surgery option, so I think maybe I just got my hopes up too much. It's still good obviously, the tumour's shrunk quite a lot, it's just they can't do surgery while it's next to the artery, so they can't remove it. Hopefully the radiotherapy will work though.
I guess it's true though, they wouldn't try surgery if they didn't think it would work, so that is very positive. They said there was only a 1 in 4 chance of her responding to the chemotherapy, and that seems to have worked well, so it's going in the right direction I guess.
I don't feel like I have any right to be sad though, because if it's all going well that's great, there's no reason to be sad, right? But I am sad and I am still scared. What if they remove it and it comes back? I don't know what the chances are of that happening.
It is true though, the internet doesn't help. I guess they just give the worst case scenarios. I might see if I can speak to the Macmillan nurses again sometime, they are nice.
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