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Too Shy · 16-06-2010, 01:23 AM

This will probably be quite long, and I'll probably delete it anyway.

There's a reason they tell you not to look stuff up on the internet. It doesn't help. So many statistics.

Last week the doctors gave us 'sort of' good news (their words). The chemotherapy has shrunk my mum's tumour, which is good. But it's still next to the artery, so they can't remove it. They're going to try radiotherapy as well now, every day except Saturdays and Sundays, starting in July until 13th August. Then 3-4 weeks and then hopefully surgery, to remove it, so long as the radiotherapy works.

I looked it up, I just wanted to know what would happen in the surgery. And I keep finding stuff like:

'Several studies have shown that removing only part of the cancer does not help patients to live longer. Pancreatic cancer surgery is one of the most difficult operations a surgeon can do. It is also one of hardest for patients to undergo.'

'Among patients who have surgery with the intent of completely removing a cancer of the exocrine pancreas, the 5-year survival rate is about 20%.'

I don't know why I'm worrying so much. In March they said there was only a small chance, and it could be less than a year. Now they're hopefully going to remove (some/all, I don't know?) of the tumour in September. So it's good, right? Everything's good. So I'm overreacting, right? Everything will be fine.

It's quite lonely. I want a hug. I want to cry and I want someone to give me a hug and tell me it will all be ok. But it's not that simple, because I go to my mum for hugs, and I can't tell her I'm worrying because I don't want her to worry about me and get worse because of me. I'm 21, I should be able to cope with this like an adult. It is lonely though. I talk to my best friend a bit, but I try to make sure I sound positive. I've told one other friend at home, and one friend in my uni city, although nobody who actually goes to my uni. I feel bad talking about it because it's not a cheerful subject, it's not fair on other people, they don't want to talk about it, it's awkward, and I don't want to bring people down.

I don't even know what I want. Just some support or something? I'm just worrying tonight, I don't know why. Sorry.

16-06-2010, 01:23 AM	#1
Too Shy Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: West Sussex I am currently:	Cancer This will probably be quite long, and I'll probably delete it anyway. There's a reason they tell you not to look stuff up on the internet. It doesn't help. So many statistics. Last week the doctors gave us 'sort of' good news (their words). The chemotherapy has shrunk my mum's tumour, which is good. But it's still next to the artery, so they can't remove it. They're going to try radiotherapy as well now, every day except Saturdays and Sundays, starting in July until 13th August. Then 3-4 weeks and then hopefully surgery, to remove it, so long as the radiotherapy works. I looked it up, I just wanted to know what would happen in the surgery. And I keep finding stuff like: 'Several studies have shown that removing only part of the cancer does not help patients to live longer. Pancreatic cancer surgery is one of the most difficult operations a surgeon can do. It is also one of hardest for patients to undergo.' 'Among patients who have surgery with the intent of completely removing a cancer of the exocrine pancreas, the 5-year survival rate is about 20%.' I don't know why I'm worrying so much. In March they said there was only a small chance, and it could be less than a year. Now they're hopefully going to remove (some/all, I don't know?) of the tumour in September. So it's good, right? Everything's good. So I'm overreacting, right? Everything will be fine. It's quite lonely. I want a hug. I want to cry and I want someone to give me a hug and tell me it will all be ok. But it's not that simple, because I go to my mum for hugs, and I can't tell her I'm worrying because I don't want her to worry about me and get worse because of me. I'm 21, I should be able to cope with this like an adult. It is lonely though. I talk to my best friend a bit, but I try to make sure I sound positive. I've told one other friend at home, and one friend in my uni city, although nobody who actually goes to my uni. I feel bad talking about it because it's not a cheerful subject, it's not fair on other people, they don't want to talk about it, it's awkward, and I don't want to bring people down. I don't even know what I want. Just some support or something? I'm just worrying tonight, I don't know why. Sorry. Last edited by Too Shy : 16-06-2010 at 01:35 AM.