Thanks for your hugs and replies. They're greatly appreciated. I haven't heard anything else off him, so I'm pleased. But I keep going over what he said to me in the emails. I can't believe he'd accuse me of lying about something like this. There's no way I'd choose to be the way I am. If it hadn't have been abuse, then I wouldn't have the flashbacks, or the nightmares. I wouldn't spend every moment of every day thinking about it. He admitted we had sex, but he really does think there's nothing wrong with it. If I enjoyed it, then I'd enjoy it with my boyfriend, but I struggle to let him touch me sometimes. So there's no way I liked what he did to me. I know I'm repeating myself, but I need to try and convince myself again that it's not my fault. Because all of this is doing my head in. I can't feel anything. I'm not sad or happy. I'm just numb to everything at the moment.
Chrissy
xxx
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