RYL Forums - View Single Post - more of a worry rant than anything interesting

bright.side.of.life · 24-08-2007, 04:45 PM

ok, havent been on here for a while coz i have been doing ok....1month si free. i have been doing alright, no major triggers or urges and everything seemed to be looking up...i had a great holiday and camp and made lots of friends and everything was ok. then i got my GCSE results and they werent as good as everyone had been expecting and now im not sure i willl get into the college i want and im a little bit dissapointed by it.

i also have a dilema that i dont know the answer to....i have a boyfriend that ive had for 10months now, but recently i havent felt the same about him. its like since i started to feel better in myself, i dont like him as much...almost like when i feel bad i need him and he means the world to me but when i feel good i dont love him as much and thats not good im sure....it sounds selfish but he is like my anchor, he keeps me sane when i need him but when i dont need him im not his biggest fan...ok, now im making me sound more like a bitch the more i say so ill stop. but i also met another guy on camp who i really like, i dont think anything will happen between us but jus the fact that im interested in other guys cant be good for my relationship. but i dont want to hurt my boyfriend by breaking up with him.....but im not as happy in the relationship as i used to be.....i dont know what to do. well i do, i think i should break up with him, but i cant....

also, i have an appointment at the psycologists (sp?!) next week that i got told about last night, and i know that even though i have been feeling better and doing better, talking about it all will just drag me back to where i was a few months ago, and i dont want that. thats when i need my boyfriend...but i cant expect him to be there for me if i break up with him and i cant keep him in the dark by staying with him just for his support...thats using him which i dont want to do. ive put him through enough pain and i dont want to hurt him anymore....i dont want to do this on my own, alone. i can feel everything slipping through my fingers slowly...

anyway, what would you do in my position? any advice is appreciated....sori i sounded like such a bitch in that rant....(sori bout the essay-ness too)

XxX row

24-08-2007, 04:45 PM	#1
bright.side.of.life XxX rowena XxX Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Kent, uk I am currently:	more of a worry rant than anything interesting ok, havent been on here for a while coz i have been doing ok....1month si free. i have been doing alright, no major triggers or urges and everything seemed to be looking up...i had a great holiday and camp and made lots of friends and everything was ok. then i got my GCSE results and they werent as good as everyone had been expecting and now im not sure i willl get into the college i want and im a little bit dissapointed by it. i also have a dilema that i dont know the answer to....i have a boyfriend that ive had for 10months now, but recently i havent felt the same about him. its like since i started to feel better in myself, i dont like him as much...almost like when i feel bad i need him and he means the world to me but when i feel good i dont love him as much and thats not good im sure....it sounds selfish but he is like my anchor, he keeps me sane when i need him but when i dont need him im not his biggest fan...ok, now im making me sound more like a bitch the more i say so ill stop. but i also met another guy on camp who i really like, i dont think anything will happen between us but jus the fact that im interested in other guys cant be good for my relationship. but i dont want to hurt my boyfriend by breaking up with him.....but im not as happy in the relationship as i used to be.....i dont know what to do. well i do, i think i should break up with him, but i cant.... also, i have an appointment at the psycologists (sp?!) next week that i got told about last night, and i know that even though i have been feeling better and doing better, talking about it all will just drag me back to where i was a few months ago, and i dont want that. thats when i need my boyfriend...but i cant expect him to be there for me if i break up with him and i cant keep him in the dark by staying with him just for his support...thats using him which i dont want to do. ive put him through enough pain and i dont want to hurt him anymore....i dont want to do this on my own, alone. i can feel everything slipping through my fingers slowly... anyway, what would you do in my position? any advice is appreciated....sori i sounded like such a bitch in that rant....(sori bout the essay-ness too) XxX row
	"Tonight i will dance on the graves of all my darkest days, and erase all the worries of all the time i wasted, my scars may never go away but i'll learn not to mind them along the way" "i was broken for a long time but its over now."