^^that.
It must be very hard realizing all this. But you also need to keep in mind that you have been ill and looking for anyway to hurt/harm yourself.
As said, now that it is recognized (and harder still, acknowledged), is it something you feel able to work on/discuss with your docs?
If explaining it all seems too daunting, print off this post. It describes how you are feeling and what you have done very well.
This is actually a huge step you have taken.
xxx
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