Hey Frozenfairytale, thankyou so much for your reply. I honestly thought I was alone in this. I'm sorry you have similar problems too.
That's interesting about the sex with your ex. I mean my boyf isn't like really pushy or anything, most of the time, but I do feel pressure to have sex - whether it's from him or myself I'm not sure though. He's been really good recently and not tried to initiate sex or anything which has been good but i still have a massive sense of guilt all the time. Thing is, there always seems to be some underlying sexual air to everything. Like he will randomly just touch me or pretend like he's simulating sex on me. And I think it's making thins worse. Kinda feels like presure in a way even though i know he's not expecting anything. I want to tell him not to cos i think it wouls help, but we are already so much just like friends that i don't feel i can take that away as well.
Thankyou again, so much, for your reply
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