this isnt a separation issue. I know who i am. Im just talking 3rd person to emphasise the point. But matthew is the one ive lived with my whole life. Its me and i dont like me. The same person who ****ed it all up in the first place.
I thought i could start again maybe. Become a better person, but too much of the old me is coming back. Thats not something to cherish. That is something to hate.
Im sat in a course at the mmoment about getting confidence back to find work. Im simply ashamed to be here.
But thank you for reading anyways. Just a rant i guess
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