Thanks guys, these are really interesting answers. In a way it's kinda helped qualify things in my head.
I've started recovery now, but I prefer not to call it that. I realised that self harm didn't help me any more. From that I thought about myself and my past. I thought how I started cutting when I was 14, but I allowed myself to get hurt a long time before that.
I have vague memories of falling off my bike when I was little. When I was very young, I'd cry, but I grew up and realised that actually, it wasn't that bad. Then I started letting myself get hurt. I'd tease people until they hurt me, or I wouldn't move out of the way of something that could hurt me. At the time I never really called it self harm. I didn't know what self harm was until my friend told me she did it. She didn't start me cutting, but I guess she put the idea in my head.
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