[lost and lonely]

I really don't know where to start. I have an appointment next week with my psychiatrist, I haven't seen him for awhile the last app my transport got messed up and i couldn't get there, the one before that he was off and and the one before that he was on holiday.

I'm really worried because I know that I have got to be honest with him, but I am scared that if I am honest that it will make things more real and I don't know if I am strong enough to cope with that.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Talk of SH, ED Mental health

I'm gonna have to tell him, how I've really not been coping. I have had some real explosive out bursts and on a couple of occasions I've self harmed, the want to self harm is getting worse, and I'm having trouble controlling it. The fact that I'm not sleeping well again. Also I'm having real problems with my eating disorders, and the amount I've lost is obvious. I have also been hearing voices again and telling him that is gonna put real pressure on me because, I've only just admitted it to my bf and don't know if I'm ready to comes to terms with it yet, also last time the medication made me feel like a zombie and I wasn't myself.

I.m really bad about taking about my problems, and this does put extra pressure on, because I know that I have to talk and there is only a certain amount of time.

Crying on the inside

Just too much to cope with at the moment......Help