Hey Mikey,
Im glad you saw the crisis team and managed to be very honest i know how hard that is, so well done . Hm some of the crisis team can be a little scary and appear pushy at times keep speaking up for yourself until you get the support or care you need.
When your depressed its often hard to make the right choices you need to, you feel like theres no hope left , that nothing will get better, and no one can help you escape from the emotional and mental pain you have. And when youve decided to end your life it feels right to you, ive been in that situation more than a few times now and can understand your thinking. People can be suicidal when they arnt depressed and you can be suicidal when your depressed . Admitedly you can normally rationalise more when you arnt depressed .
having a depressed view of life often makes us feel alone and empty and insignificant and meaningless and that there is no purpose in life .
I hear you about wanting to die i often feel the same way its really hard when you feel that life is to too painful and meaningless . Especially if you believe that nothing will change and only get worse and that no one can help you get better, Its a horrible and scary place to be .
Your thoughts and feelings are important and should be validated by them sometimes professionals dont really listen close enough to us its real important you keep telling them how you really feel. If you dont get on with someone in the crisis team or they arnt listening to you please ask to see another member of the crisis team we are all different and it takes time to find the right people who can listen to us and accept us. if we dont have or feel a connection with the professional person then it will lower our chances of success. Ive seen 2 CPNs 3 drs and 5 psychiatrists and 1 psychologist on my journey and for now i have a glimer of hope .
I hope and pray with all my heart that you mikey can find what you need to keep fighting and that you find the right help. Life is important you are important and you deserve to be happy in this life.
keep talking to us keep posting
Dave
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