[bleedingdragon]

Hey greyskys,

The chances are that your maybe depressed, wanting to walk out into a busy road isnt a normal behaviour, yes at some point in everyones lives.
When things fall apart we may think about doing something dangerous like walking out into a busy road if its just the once then ok but if your having lots of suicidal thinking then its serious enough for you to seek professional help.

The feeling of not being quite happy just normal is your struggle to deal with it . We all wear masks every day to hide our true self and our emotions and feelings and when we are depressed we do this to the outside world . If youve been feeling like this it is important for you to seek professional help. Im glad that you are currently on a waiting list for counselling thats a good step in the right direction.

Well done for making an appointment with your dr and i can understand why you would chicken out , your dr wouldnt, shouldnt think your an attention seeker its important to go to your dr. Normally the process is to go to your dr and then they can refer you to counselling where as in your case youve been able to get onto a waiting list for counselling which is good. Getting that counselling appointment hopefully should be fairly quick, although the waiting lists are often very long, so going and seing your dr meanwhile is real important.

Its understandable that right now you want to go to sleep and never wake up , i still feel like that alot myself. And understandable that you want to OD . Having these suicidal thoughts is a warning sign to yourself that you need to get professional help.

What should you do? well youve started already by getting yourself on a counselling waiting list, maybe the best thing is for to go to your dr and get support from them , your dr can refer you to the child and adolescent mental health team (CAMHS) or the crisis team if need be.

Keep posting here , use the ranting forum if you need to

look after yourself


Dave