[when.will.it.end]

Do you think that it's more about age or personality....or both?

I've just been thinking about this because when I was in a massive period of crisis a couple of years ago (frequent overdoses, bad self harm, hospital etc.) my friends cared but didn't seem to have a clue how to help. We were all 16/17 at the time and I ended up loosing most of them as friends because of everything I was doing. There were no boundaries on what I would do to myself and mental health services were crap so it there was a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, which I feel really bad for, but at the same time I wish they hadn't left me.

For the past two years I've been getting better on my own and have made an effort not to involve my friends in any of my drama. I moved cities and made new friends who didn't know any of my past, or at least hadn't seen it. I overdosed the other day and my new friends, who I've only known for a year, were supportive and came with me to hospital and everything. They didn't seem that freaked out by it and were quite mature/responsible about the whole thing even though they can't relate and it's all still dramatic and serious.

We're now all 20/21 and I'm trying to work out if they're being good about it because we're older or they're just more rounded mature people than my old friends. I was in dance training when I first got ill so my friends were all very self absorbed/sheltered from the real world where as now I'm at a middle class uni and everyone is quite well educated with a broader knowledge of the world.

Sorry I'm sort of rambling, just trying to figure it out. Anyone got any thoughts/similar experiences? I really don't want to mess up my friendships this time.