Such self consciousness can be really dis-enabling, I know. I hear how for you it's tied up a lot with self hatred type feelings - am I right? Are you looking at this?
Silencing yourself might sound good, in theory, especially when you want to protect yourself from feeling so rawly exposed. However, in practice, it can be even more alienating and lonely and stir up a whole bunch more of anger and resentment. That's been my experience, anyway.
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