I'm a stranger and you are talking to me. But I understand the difference as this is over the internet and not face to face as speaking to a professional would be. Do you really believe that you can pull yourself out of this? I am not saying that are not strong, and I can see that you sincerely care about your family, but you can't solve everything by yourself. Some pain is too much for a person to bear alone.
How are you feeling now? Can you describe what you felt pressured to cover?
I too have trouble with social anxiety, although I do have a few friends I can't bring myself to talk about difficult things with them. I suppose I have forced them to be "fair-weather friends". I guess it is difficult to offer you a way to heal as in most circumstances people have support networks that they can lean on, but it doesn't seem like you have that. What are you doing to help with the social anxiety?
I hope that you are feeling better soon.
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