Dont go behind her back unless you think that she may really hurt herself badly either accidently or on purpose.
I think the best thing to do is to talk to her about it, try and get her to talk to someone else, she needs an adult right now. For example help her understand why she should tell her parents and help her do it, you know like maybe help her prepare what to say or right a letter.
You could also try and persuade her to go to the school counselor and maybe she should talk about the underlying issues eg. she feels sad/ problems with friends or whatever is causing her to SH, and she doesnt need to talk about the fact that she SH, but at least this way she would get support from the counselor and if she felt comfortable could confide in the counselor that she SH.
Just try and make sure she gets help, if she wont agree to talk about the SH, then maybe she would agree to talk about how she feels to someone else which is really important because its that that needs to be dealt with. It shouldnt be placed all on you, you are dealing with your own battles too. And make sure she knows if you are going to tell anyone, i know if i was in her situation how hurt i would be if someone told without discussing it first.
Sorry if i didnt make much sense..
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