Sweetie, I understand that you do not want people to know. It is hard to admit to others that we struggle. However, you are struggling too much right now to be handling it on your own. Phone for an Ambulance to take you to your local a&e where a duty psych can talk to you and assess your needs - You can discuss how you are feeling and your thoughts about needing to go ip there.
With your Mum and your friends, I understand that it is hard, but there comes a point where you have to allow them to do the things they want to, which is support you. Yes, your Mum will worry, but that is her job, she is your Mother, and we would think less of her if she didn't.
It is good that you have written this thread as you do sound very low, and as though you are struggling. Now, you need to take the step to reach out to the professionals and get the help you need.
Roiben x
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