If you really want the blood you could try to use a substitute, like food colouring or fake blood, or try to fight the urges, like make a list of all the reasons you shouldn't cut.
I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now.
It's good that you have something that can help you and a community of friends that you can turn to for support, however I think your Sifu might be going about it in slightly the wrong way by getting you to make a promise and also punishing you if you SI, as that will make the guilt abd any self hatred mich worse. It may be that he doesn't understand about SI or how hard it us to just stop, maybe along with the essay you could print out some info about SH and how to support people?
Stay strong
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