Well done for stopping!! thats amazing :)
I think that its normal for everyone who SH/ has SH in the past to think about it, at one point it must have been a huge part of your life, and maybe you are still in recovery if you get urges. You are doing so well to fight it.
The urges must be so hard, you said you feel anxious but your not sure why? Maybe you might be developing anxiety, or maybe there is a reason that you are feeling anxious but you cant figure it out?
Is there anyone you can talk to about this, to sort out why you are feeling so anxious, maybe then your urges will go away? Also just try lots of distractions because you dont want to get into the whole cycle again.
i think your amazing at how far you've come btw! x
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