The same thing happened to me, but I'd like to assure you it got easier with time. I also found that journalling my experiences helped, because I started to feel like I could forget them, and if I needed them, they were stored somewhere. I didn't have to relive them.
But I completely understand, I don't think I've ever completely related to a post as much as I do your original post here. You're not alone, and, it gets easier. Writing can help to "catch" the moments, sometimes to ease the pain it can help trying to find what it is you're missing (and a substitute that can bring this, or similar, to you).
Keep talking, if you'd like.
xxx
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