Even when you see what it does, and all the things it's tainted, it has to be acknowledged that it's helped you out of some bad situations, and it's been there for you when no one and nothing else seemed to be. Bad as it is to say, it's no wonder SI is so hard to quit. Try not to blame yourself for coming back to thinking positively about it; really, when you think about it, it isn't all bad, because it has served a purpose. It's just that it's not a great solution.
Three months is amazing progress; it's really hard to make it that far, and that you've managed it means you've got good coping mechanisms in place most of the time. As ridiculous as it may be to say, I hope you're remembering to give yourself the praise and credit you are due for making it that long. And really, even one slip in three months is outstanding, and a testament to your strength of character.
I don't want to be a pedant, but SI is something that you beat every single day. Success is measured in inches, so every time you get by without it, celebrate that. *hugs* You can make it.
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