1. List the ways that you self-harm
Cutting, scratching, biting.
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
Because it distracts me from all the emotional pain and abuse I've experienced.
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
It just makes me feel as if I have absolute control over my body.
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
I don't really know. I'm in pain and that's all I seem to think about.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
I don't know. Maybe it's just retaliation against myself and mistakes I've made.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
It makes me crave pain. It scars me. When it scars me I'm forced to be reminded of all the times I ****ed up.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
I started when I was about ten. I was getting bullied and my parents were verbally and emotionally abusing me.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
I honestly don't know.
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I have a message to give that I cant' say directly
I believe my body is a battleground
I want to cleanse myself
I want to express my shame
I am trying to express my pain
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
I am trying to buy myself time by focusing attention on physical rather than emotional pain
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Listen to music/play music.
2. Take a long walk outside.
3. Writing.
Which of the following are true for you?
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
FINALLY! I'm adding one more question to this list, what stage are you on in the 6 stages of recovery? (see hidden information for the stages and details of each)
Around Stage 2.
|