I'm not comfortable in social situations myself, so I can definitely relate to what you say here. But it's hell when you're starting at a new school, if you get of at the wrong foot... If you avoid the humans from the beginning, you'll end up finding yourself in that pattern for some time to come. My advice is to just "jump into it" (this is really easy to say, I didn't even take my own advice last time I started school). But if you do it in small steps, just an extra smile or a hollow conversation. It can mean a lot just to break the ice. :)
I don't know what to say about your relationship to him, really. Would it be easier for you if you had more definite limits? Having things the way you describe might make it more difficult for you -although I am not qualified to say anything about that - but maybe it would be better is you either had "all or nothing"?
Don't blame yourself, anyway. Even if a relationship to you might seem hard, it's hard no matter what issues a person has. And everybody has SOMETHING. It's when you find that special someone who is willing to work on it with you and have patience, it really pays off... :)
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