Originally Posted by
XxHopelesslyFallingxX
Endymion: :/. i know its not healthy to carry those thoughts... but...I can't stop them....some people know I have them...but they can't do anything.
I've never trusted people really...Even if they prove trust...I know I'll lose them or be betrayed sooner or later.. x
I know very much how it is not to trust people. I'm not saying that I understand your situation, that would be wrong of me, but I do understand the feeling of alienating yourself from people because of distrust and other feelings.
But still, thoughts of suicide are very serious. Even though you "know" with yourself that you will not proceed with these thoughts, they will eat you up from the inside. You need to vent them, and words is the best and least harmful way.
You say there are some people who know about them. That is a good sign. Even though they can't make the thoughts go away, maybe they can listen? Or maybe they can just share your company, to make you think of other things? Sometimes silence helps to, when it's shared with the right people.
I know it's hard to trust people, and I'm not really the right guy to say that you should either - since I'm very distrusting myself. But you have to see them for what they are - they are humans with limitations. If you can manage their limitations, they can be of some use to you. :)