1. List the ways that you self-harm <no tip sharing, be generic>
Cut and drug abuse/OD
2. How do these behaviors help you survive?
I get high to the point I don't remember where I am, much less what's bothering me
3. How does this behavior give me a sense of control?
I control when I have emotions
4. How/Why does this behavior release endorphins (the happy factor) and make me feel better?
It doesn't make me feel better, I just stop feeling.
5. How does this behavior give me revenge?
It doesn't.
6. How does this behavior punish me?
The cuts remind me (with the sting) that I have problems I should fix.
7. When and why did you start this behavior?
Cutting - 6 years ago, it was a spur of the moment thing that caught on. Drugs - 4 years ago, because I was offered it at the "right" moment.
8. How/Why does this behavior bring me affection, care, or emotional closure? (How does it comfort you? if this applies)
It doesn't
Copy and paste this section, delete the lines that do not apply to you, leaving only the ones that do:
I want to show that I own my body
I want to express my rage at myself
I hate myself
I want to distract myself from other pain
I want to numb my feelings
I am taking over where my abuser left off
I am retaliating against myself for telling secrets
I am doing what my abuser brainwashed me to do, if I told
I am trying to bring my emotions under control
I am trying to prove that I am alive
I am trying to get "high"
I am trying to manage my flashbacks/memories
I am trying to release emotional tension
I need a release valve
I need to get into a "neutral zone"
Now, think about your reason(s) for harming, list 3-5 things you could do instead.
1. Play on the computer (hunt/kill monsters until I feel better)
2. Hug my horse~
3. Clean my room/car!
Which of the following are true for you? (Again delete the ones that do not apply for you)
Self-harm doesn't hurt anyone but me and it really doesn't hurt me either
It's my body, I can do what I want with it
It's no big deal and shouldn't upset anyone
If I don't hurt myself this way, my pain will be worse
No one knows about it anyways
I need to be punished for what I did
It just shows how bad a person I am
It keeps people away
The scars are there for a reason, they remind me of my shame/need for punishment
I'm in 3, Preparation.
I liked this, it made me stop and think about myself and why I do the things I do. Thanks for sharing it :)
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