I replied to this yesterday :( dammit. Sorry for the late reply everyone, my internet must have spacked out :/
@Olivia: Thankyou for showing your support :) don't worry about not having advice for me, tbh atm I just need a bit of support and understanding :) I understand what you mean about being forced into recovery. One of my really close friends knows about my problem and when he notices it coming back he doesn't eat if I don't, which forces me to eat because he knows I won't let him starve, especially because of me. But that just makes me feel pressured into eating and for me recovery doesn't just mean eating the "right" amount of food :( thanks for taking the time to reply, it really does mean a lot *hugs* take care of yourself xxx
@Kelpie: I know what you mean, I feel like I could quite happily welcome the whole thing into my life as it's already a part of my brain, but deep down I know I shouldn't actively encourage it to take over again. It's so confusing trying to figure out what to do isn't it :( I hope you're feeling better about things *hugs* I'm always here if you need to talk xxx
@Hilda: Thankyou so much for your support :) I know I said this before to Olivia, but yours, and everyone elses, support on here really does mean a lot and makes things somewhat easier to cope with knowing I'm not the only one feeling like this. Take care of yourself xxx
@finallylivinglifex: I'm sorry if it was a little too on the graphic side and TOO intense :( I really hope I haven't triggered anyone with this post. It's just that it really helps me to be able to vent my feelings and write down exactly whats in my head. Nothing has ever really happened to make me think like this tbh, I had a very happy childhood, nothing negative there, I was never bullied or anything. But ever since I was about 6/7 I've had issues with my body and thought I was fat. No idea why :( I'm never gotten any help for any of my mental issues, I don't feel like this ones worthwhile to trouble anyone with (especially medically) as it isn't a constant thing, just on and off :/
Thankyou to everyone who's replied :) xxx
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