well...im going to be a ****ing hypocrite here.
im always telling you guys to not talk down about yourselves.
but IM going to now.
im a stupid, selfich, **** BITCH!!!
so ****ing weak and pathetic.
living on disability because im too weak to function in the world.
playing little miss "helper" to everyone when i cant even help myself.
and the advice i give is ****ing **** too.
no point in me evenm replying..i just do because i feel im supposed to.
i gave my son away.
no good mother i am.
i sit here all day feeling sorry for myself.
im like a stupid bug that flies toward the might and gets zapped.
im the cat that keepos banging its head on the glass door because he thinks he can get through it.
im an embarrassment to family and myself.
and im in a ****ing rut.
i dont want to give up hope.
i know what that feels like.
and its misery.
but im ALREADY miserable.
so what the hell, right???
i may have damaged my arm and hand so much that i will never be able to hold me son's hand again.
good job "Mommy"
****ing cow.
i hate myself right now.
i really really do.
im sorry for being a hypocrite but i **** up sometimes too.
|