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im sorry for taking several posts :( *SI,SUICIDE*
i just dont know what to do any more....im good at hiding feelings from friends and everyone i dont want to know about...but right now i cant.
otherwise id be telling you all that things are just the way they always were....i want to die.
my mind is ticking over on all the ways to do so and its very good at doing things like this. im also so desperate to cut but the knives are not available... which i guess is a good thing right now because that would only help me think clearer i want to die and i deserve to be in imence pain and i dont have any other option other than not doing so...
but this to me isnt an option. you will ask why im guessing and all i have to say is because. i almost want to be given a different solution mainly because in scared.. i know im a coward but to me this is the minimalistic way of hurting people...all i do in life is take take take take i have given nothing to the world and i doubt i ever will i am a drain on human and natural resources im sorry for wasting your time with the rambling i cant get the words into decent sentences i just dont know what to do or how to do it.
i want to commit my self but they wont let me. i am a massive risk to myself and i just want to take me out of the equation. sorry for the massive block of nonesence but i can find no other way of putting it bar the version that is longer that is.... i just want to know what to do.
i am lost
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