recovery is scary! i'm really scared right now too, and falling back into all my destructive coping mechanisms. i worry that recovery means they will "take them away from me" and i won't know how to survive without them. maybe you're not quite ready yet...but seeing a therapist doesn't mean quitting straight away. you could learn some better ways of coping, talk some stuff out and have the support you deserve, and quit when you're stronger.
please pm me if you want to talk more.
XO
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