Technically it wasn't abuse to me, though everyone classifies it in this category. I don't know where else to write this letter so it can go here.
Your charm, understanding and infallible loyalty seemed to get you so far. People appreciated you, trusted you and your sensitivity appeared to warm the hearts of so many. I am so angry that my ignorance and innocence was exploited too, along with all the other peoples' decency you stole. Quite frankly I am shocked. I am shocked at your greed, your neverending lust for this.
You will never know just how much you hurt me and I doubt that many real life people will ever understand the dirt I feel grinding against me, the repulsion I face whilst looking at my reflection in the mirror and the bile rising in my throat as I think about the person you have become. I wonder if you always were. How does it feel now? How does it feel knowing that we all know the truth? We all know your dirty little secret that just isn't that hidden anymore.
It makes me wonder what satisfaction you got from all of this. In the papers the quotes were ridiculous, child-like and I don't believe a word of it. You made a fifteen/sixteen year old girl hide in her own house, stop going out to her various hobbies and you exacerbated her need to self-harm. If you didn't get some sick gratification from this, what did you get? Honestly, I'd like to know because to me it just isn't right. It angers me what you have done, what you did to me. No, you didn't take my virginity but you took my pride and you have destroyed my trust. I can no longer bear physical contact and I place that responsibility largely with you.
I don't want to go into explicit detail of what has happened but I wish somehow you would know that this hurts. This whole situation hurts. What upsets me most is how others reacted. Mostly the pain is brushed off into a corner, I am deemed the girl who cried wolf too many times. That is because you never left any evidence, you never did anything that could get yourself arrested- until recently of course. You made people think I was lying. My reputation is basically in tatters, blood-streaked tatters. Do you get satisfaction from that? Do you? I wish you had some good reason to have done this, I could probably give you one. I could tell you that I was repulsive, dirty and disgusting and deserved all this but then that would excuse you for every other person you have caused tears.
Was it worth the stigma/taunting you are going to hear for the rest of your life?
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