I'm sorry that things aren't going well. :/ But I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You clearly already know that harming is insidious, and that it takes a lot of willpower to keep from it over a long period of time. I don't mean to be negative, but I don't think you can be blamed for lapsing. *hug*
As for distractions, I find physical exercise to be the most helpful; sometimes, at loose ends and in dire need of something, I have rearranged the furniture in the house, laundered all the rugs and curtains, scrubbed windows...etc. By the time everything is done, not only am I usually beat, the house is sparkling. :P Double benefit. Going for a long run is another good one.
It sounds like your family support is pretty good; is there anyone among them you can confide in?
Best of luck to you, and I hope you can stay safe.
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