i can relate to your difficulties completely. many people have this difficulty particularly if they've had experiences of what the title of your thread says
you are not a simple organism but a complex being. your mind is made up not only of reasoning and logic, but emotions that remember experiences from an intuitive/sensing (non-logical) place. all humans are like this
expecting your body and emotional mind to be the same as your thinking mind is doing yourself an unfairness. your body and your emotional memories may respond differently to how you reason with yourself i.e. 'surely i should be...' which only compounds the distress and self-judgment
yes there are ways through this. you may have to pay for it but getting yourself a trauma therapy can really help with this stuff such as emdr and sensorimotor psychotherapy, which are specifically designed for this kind of stuff
the more you accept yourself as someone who is sensitive and has a sexuality where it is right now without loading expectations to do with age, gender and other factors, the more likely you are to find that others accept you as you are too (including your chosen partner). go with not against your grain
|