*Cuddles you* Please dont give up. I hear you about feeling very low and also that you hate yourself. Please dont hate yourself. You can get through this. What sorts of things do you enjoy doing? Have you tried distracting yourself? I find listening to music quite helpful and also doing jobs just to keep yourself busy so that the time passes by quicker.
I also think it might benefit you to make an appointment with your doctor to talk to him her about how your feeling. You could always write down what it is you want to say and give that to the doctor if you find it to difficult to talk about it face to face. Whats happening for you? Do you know what it is that causes you to harm yourself? Can you talk to us some more about things? Stay safe.
Take care best wishes Ian
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