I'm sorry your having strong urges *Hugs you* Dont give up. Do you have any idea of what it is thats making you feel this way? Do you want to talk to us some more about things? Do you have any support? Have you tried distracting yourself? This is the big distractions page
http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...ead.php?t=1403 What about talking to your mum about how your feeling? Or if you find it easier maybe you could leave a note for her to read? I know its hard but we are here for you. Stay safe.
Take care best wishes Ian