How old are you? almost 21 (started at 15)
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? I had obsessive thoughts (not sure if they were voices or thoughts) to self harm, telling me to do it over and over so eventually I just gave in cause I was so sick of resisting.
I also recall minorly self harming at a very early age but I honestly have no understanding why I did it. I think it was cause I was distressed but I honestly don't know why a 3 year old would be so distressed. It wasn't for attention as I freaked when someone saw me do it and made an excuse. I don't know if the early SI and the teenage SI are linked at all.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?It sometimes was for control. I liked it the second I tried it (I didn't even know you would like it until I finally gave in). I liked hiding it and having it be my secret, so I suppose it was a form of control. Now I do it for similar reasons and also cause it makes my head stop going crazy, so again I guess that is control.
Does anyone know that you self harm? yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? i willingly told 1 friend back when i started as they did it too and then they told someone so my parents found out. i then said i stopped, which i did, but started up again and then refused to tell anyone for a while. then someone i didn't know well asked me if i was a cutter so i said yes. they then pressured me into telling my parents as i was barely too young to receive counseling without their permission. so i willingly i suppose told my parents but i only did it cause i wanted access to counseling. since then i have told some people, but i tend to hide it. My bf is the only one who knows I have done it recently and that's only cause he can see the cuts.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I liked it being my secret. And I didn't want anyone to make me stop. also i've gotten judged a lot for it so i tend to keep it quiet.
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