[washedoutdreamer]

i'm spacey.
and shakey.
and panicky.
and i jump from being okay to not in a matter or moments.
i'm a crazy little piece of work.
and i feel guilty about it.
isn't that stupid?
i actually feel really guilty that people have to put up with me.
because i'll be fine for a week or a month or however long...
and then all of a sudden i'm having a paic attack and they don't know what to do.
and they thought this was over.
or i was over it.
or whatever.
and there i am again ruining things for them.
so sometimes i wish everyone would just leave.
for themselves...
so they wouldn't have to put up with me.
because i know it'd be so much harder for me.
but i don't know how anyone deserves having to deal with me.

and i don't want to think like this.
but right now i can't get past it.