*squishes* Firstly, you are way too hard on yourself missus! 2 months was fantastic. Spot the positives - you achieved 2 months self harm free. You have done this once, and you can do this again.
You must remember though, that slip ups happen. They aren't nice, they do cause loads of nasty feelings, like disappointment, anger, regret... But they're natural, you're human after all. Don't be so hard on yourself. Recognise your achievement, be proud of yourself for doing the best you could, and as soon as you can, move on. You can always always try again. There's loads of time to quit again, and you always have your number 1 support site right behind you when you are ready.
I've been in that dark place before, but I'll tell you now... Those dark thoughts and feelings go away after time. You can really surprise yourself sometimes. I never thought things would get better, but somehow they did. They can get better for you too.
Happiness doesn't come easy. Well, easier for some more than others. But if feeling sad is a regular thing, and you ever seriously consider suicide, I strongly suggest you to get professional help. A wee chat with your doctor could get you referred to a counsellor, which could help you loads. I recommend it, as many others do.
Stay safe hun. Things will get better, there are loads of good things to come. Look forward and hold on.
xo
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