thank you, you are very kind am im sure i do not deserve it!
it is a little like aquarius at home at the moment, being scared of being jumped on at any moment and just the general mood of everyone because im so on edge! i also havent ever been this out of control for such a long period of time, i used to get out of control but only for a few hours this is lasting days even my old panick attacks were as scary as this. the horrible thing is i was having such a good week last week and everything has just plumbeted! but supported accomidation isnt really an option at the moment, because i cant ask my care coordinator because she thinks my problems can all be solved by talking to my mother and that they have every right to keep me locked up or restrained in the house (abit like dan and the police thought) because its for my own good!
i just now spoke to my mum and brother about how to treat me if i have another attack and they said they will try but my brother just kind of walked off so i dont think he was really listening! but i will just have to see!
i am very scared of what people think of me and i am trying to work on that with my psychologist but its very deeply routed and those times my parents said i was ruining there lives have really effected me! im sorry your parents said that to you to *hugs*
i havent tried the safe place in my head thing, i will try it but i dont think id be very good at it im rubbish at visualing things in my head but thank you!
i have been thinking alot about my birthday coming up in two months i really cant turn 20, i wasnt meant to even be born! (i know its a long way away but i am always worrying about something) and nothing badd has happened apart from a close of mine coming onto me and making me feel abit uncomfortable but thats all nothing big has happened so it makes me feel pathetic behaving like this!
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