I want it done. I want it over. Stress is just too much. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone, and that no one really wants to hear what I have to say. I don't want bother them with my sillyness.
Part of me wants to scream at someone and tell them how I feel. Even if it's a random person...or just scream in down a hall...or whatever.
My mother left me a voicemail. She said not to call her. WHY would would tell that to someone who's depressed, off their meds, and on the edge of completely losing it? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! But she did it.
I also don't want to cause everyone to panic. Send me off to the ER for a "behavioral health evaluation". THAT DOES NOTHING! You waste over 8 hours there and you get no where. Except being watched by a security and invaded by a nurse looking for "hidden" cuts. They don't do anything there. You talk to someone sure, but 95% of it is history not how you're actually feel. USELESS! Then they send you home with discharge instructions to follow up with your regular therapist and/or psychiatrist. THANKS for that. That gets you NO WHERE! So I'm not about to go to the ER any time soon...which is what alot of people, if I tell them, will insist I go. NO, I will not go!
I'm confused and angry right now.
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