thanks for the replies =] they have helped me to feel better about the situation.
no one 'told' me that people with past partners are less bothered about it. i just have a lot of friends who have had a few and i'm always getting 'been there, done that, am bored of it now' rants from them, which lead me to assume that you get less bothered about it the more you've had. thanks for clearing that misinterpretation up for me- i guess those people were just with partners who were only in it for the sex.
i did briefly mention it yesterday and he told me i wasnt dirty. we didn't go into it that much though. i guess its an area he doesn't feel the need to talk about and i'm just not used to talking about; i didn't even tell him that he was my first until almost a year after it happened.
i do regret that a lot (not it happening, that i didn't tell him) and i think that sowed the seeds for me just not talking about it. i guess i need to get out of it, i can talk to him about anything else why is sex any different. i'm also starting to think 'if you're not comfortable discussing it then you shouldn't be doing it'
i agree with ninjapenguin that i should just go with the flow and stop overthinking things. but equally i need to find a way to be able to discuss this area, should it need discussing- i shouldn't have to come running here for that; i use this place for support, not to find people to hold my hand there's a difference.
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