Can i just how do i make it a voluntary section? I didnt sleep all night but was really hyper anxious.. mum came into wake me up and i freaked like mad.. i thought she was going to attack me O.o.. i have no idea whats happening to me right now! Its breaking my heart to know i let myself get so far.. i swore i'd never attempt and then after that i swore id be on my best behaviour/ fine! Im such a screw up.. But yeah anyway main point of writing.. how does it make it a voluntary section? is it if i accept the treatment without a fuss or do i have to directly ask for the help? Sorry just not sure.. because whats freaking me out is if i tell my psychologist whats happening she'll panic.. which is likely... i scare her quite a bit (our technical therapist-client relationship is unhealthily close but for the mean time i take that as a bonus) which i dread.. i hate hearing the fear in her voice. Then she'll drag me off to the psychiatrist who will probably do sod all in all honesty.. But i may be lucky as shes a clinical psychologist in herself... i think she has rights to admit right?
urgh this frightens me.. basically i dont want to wind up either freaking out at her or being sent off directly to hospital in an ambulance or something without a say in the matter.. or is that still voluntary? My fear of hospitals doesn't really help i supposse.. Another fear is that i'll end up on this ward in which has got a real reputation in my area and if i wind up there i'd have a real name for myself.. i'd never live it down. Its adult (im 16) but i dont know of many adolescant wards in my area.. Im scared that i'd get dumped there.
Im considering making an emergancy appointment with my gp.. he's really good to me and i feel comfortable talking to him.. he has to be the only doctor i trust. The last time he saw me (maybe two weeks ago) he saw right through me.. and at that time i was making an effort to appear ok.. but now im not bothering i just dont have the motivation to feel good enough to do so. I think i could do with some the head/facial injuries checked out though.. just for precaution.
I think it may be a good idea to teach my mum the grounding techniques as to me its still quite sudden.. im normally in so much distress when i dissociate i dont feel it coming.. if that makes sense. Maybe i could also ask her psychologist (she has to see someone on how to cope with me) to teach her? As personally im crap at explaining them.. Thanks again for replying, i hope you're ok