Oh my, my heart goes out you.
I understand why you don't want hospital right now. But perhaps a compromise could be reached?
That you can go in BUT be able to have leave over Xmas to spend with your grandfather/family?
This is getting very, very dangerous, as I'm sure you well know.
There is the danger (not to scare you, but you need to think about it, scary as it is) you may not make it till Xmas, if you don't get some relief and support now.
Far better to go in voluntary than be sectioned.
Have you ever been offered grief couns.? Specifically for abuse/rape/miscarriage?
Would you be able to talk to your GP about a referral/extra support of somewhere trained to help in this area? Or perhaps your mom could help ask/set that up?
I'm sorry your psych is not listening to you. That is terrible.
Maybe 'confront' her? With a letter, if that is easier?
Tell her you need to address this and feel she is not hearing you.
This is so so much to be dealing with alone.
Her messing with meds on top of it seems too much. I hope she can find something to help very soon.
I know your mom is there...but you deserve and need extra help too.
Pls keep talking here if it is helping ok?
thinking of you.
xx
(ETA: have you ever been taught 'grounding' techniques for the dissociation?)
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