I think it's important here that you aren't too harsh on yourself for situations that you can't really do anything about. You really need to look after yourself in order to look after others as well otherwise you can end up making yourself more ill. If you feel that other people are in control of your recovery, where exactly is your role in your recovery? What do you want to gain from this? I mean it's very easy to say "I just want everything to be ok" but it's really really important to break this down and maybe make a list of what it is you want to achieve.
If you say you have seen a number of health professionals, what is it that was beneficial to you? What was a negative experience for you? Is there anything that you could possibly take from what you have been through before that helped you that you could modify and use to help you now?
When I was feeling really down there were things that were important to me and it was vital to my recovery that I never forgot these. One was maing sure that I went out and socialised with my friends even if I didn't really feel like it and then there were other things like making sure I went into work but didn't do too much overtime. I think that making a list of what was really important to me really helped.
I hope you start feeling a bit better soon, it can feel like your whole world has collapsed but it is possible to get through this.
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