Thank you so much everyone.
I'm scared and I feel like I've got no edges. I feel like I'm falling through space. I feel I can't find anything to hold onto.
I've got PMS cramps, and am getting SI urges related to that.
Taking this annual leave from work wasn't such a great idea, as I feel so uncontained by the structure of work. I know work are still on my side, but I also am feeling hyperly paranoid and can't hold onto that.
Yet I also need this space and quiet time without pressure, to rest. Yet it all starts getting pressured at work from next week.
It's at time like these when I wish I could just escape and go and be somewhere safe and structured and peaceful, and go to therapy as usual as well. Not hospital. I'm not that ill. 'Just' vulnerable. But there aren't places like that that I know of, only in my head.
I'm wrapped in a blanket, but that doesn't really hold me together.
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