It's a hard question to answer Rainy.... I've been there myself. I think on one hand that our partners should always respect our boundaries and when we say no but on the other hand i can kinda see it from their point of view too. Which is "we are together, we love each other of course we want to have sex too!!!" However, this doesn't take away the feeling of being used as a toy.
Rainy, we haven't spoken for a looooong time so i don't know if this is even appropiate, but i think you ought to talk to someone about these feelings. Not neccesarily your husband to begin with but may be a friend or the like. I am quite confident that many people feel the same way as you do and i think this is a rather common problem.
I know for me it made me feel totally worthless.... And it's not a nice feeling. But i do also realise that when love is involved it can be hard to respect your own boundaires too because you feel like you owe something to your partner.
Hmmm... I've blabbered on and on but not really given any decent advice... I think the best thing is to talk about it some more. For now. You know you can always talk on here. Nothing you said makes me think any less of you. I actually admire your courage. Just wish i could help in some way..... Because i know first hand how hard it is.
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