[silentgirl]

I am scared. To write whats going through my head and emotions, to even think about the last few months or to even think about facing my problems in counselling. I don’t know if im strong enough to admit that im struggling even though the issues seem so small compared to other people’s issues. Or am i just in denial for the fact that ive gone 14 months without self harm and now i cant stop thinking about it nor being able to face my past/recent issues that are in my life at the moment? Everyone says that i am strong but i don’t feel strong. I feel weak for even the day that i couldn’t cope nearly five years ago now and started self harming. I even thought the reasons why i started were small and pathetic. I feel that i cant face things, that i just run the other way instead....
I feel that i have to hide how i am feeling and put on a smile so i don’t hurt my family
I feel that because i was 14 months free and now out of high school that my depression and cutting should be gone, healed by now.
I feel that i cant talk about whats going on without being judged and i feel that my problems aren’t big enough to talk about or need counselling for.
Sorry, pathetic post.