Thank you. :)
I'm sorry you witnessed it too.
I'm uncovering so many feelings now, which I blocked off from Back Then, because it was too painful to feel. Its hard to feel them now, but I am more able to. I am learning so much.
I used to not express anger. Now, through therapy, I am much more able to. There was a time when I didn't believe my father was angry, that 'you can go away and rot' wasn't an expression of anger. For many years I don't even think I knew what anger was. Sounds strange, given my experience, of being bullied, and all that happened at home. But, it's the way things are. Probably because it caused me and my mum so much pain. And I was never encouraged to be articulate about my feelings. I had to feel the way they all wanted. And, dammit, now I am feeling my feelings!!!!! It's not always pretty, by a long stretch, but I am learning to feel.
|